Hmm..

Wanted to say thanks to those who bought me present for my birthday..
As well as the surprise party...
I really was shocked that day.. I was very happy too.. Although that day got a bit emo la.. XD
Some presents still got their own special meaning to me..
And I was thinking this year may be the last year I am gonna receive my present d.. haha really appreciate those presents..

After busy preparing for trial, now need to prepare for spm d..
Felt tired in a sudden..
I don't know what to do...
I know I can't stop studying and relax myself as everyone seems to be studying all the time at home...
But as I force myself to study, I can't really remember and understand what I read...
Now just hope that my body and mind can tolerate with me and cooperate with me till spm is over...

Today went study wiv my someone.. haha hope he can always find me when he dk.. and hope he can concentrate in his study la.. jia you!.. xD
Today my wrist got scar or red red de thing.. coz today somebody in my class tie my hands and legs up very tightly.. Although it is really very pain, but.... don't want to say already.. ==

Recently, I quite happy with my life, because I had overcomed some of my fears that I always afraid to face...
Another thing I hope I can change is that I hope I won't be so sensitive with what other people say and I want to learn to be tough!!


Hope everyone can score many As in SPM !! Good luck.. XP

17..

Sometimes really feel like choking myself...
Because sometimes felt like I am really scare of doing many things.. Haha...

Tomorrow, I am going to be 17 years old already..
From tomorrow onwards, I think I must learn to be brave and overcome no matter what challenges I am going to face in my life...

==... But I don't like the feel of growing up, I like to be young ! XD
I am not expecting anything special for my birthday. However, I have a wish..

I wish that
I could live happily each and everyday of my life as well as everyone else...

Happiness....

Hmm...

Sometimes when you get too happy, something will happen and make you sad again..
This is life I guess.. Hardly anyone can live happily each and everyday.. XP

Hmm.. Nowadays, I think I am a bit crazy.. Kept laughing, maybe it's caused by last time I kept on supressing. haha.. anyway all those things are already became the past..

But I still remember yesterday, I went to my grandparent's house..
Saw my cousins and my grandpa..

I made one of my cousin angry till yesterday.. I think he still remember last time he called me to stay at house one night and I refused that day.. He was very mad at me that day because I promised him before..

But, I tried to approach him.. He was back to normal.. Eventually he talked to me..
He made me laugh like siao lang like that.. Haha I was totally insane!!
He calls two street dogs : lazy girl and another one called cempedak..
It's already sounds kind of funny..

Then, my bro was beside me.. He said that dog is called cempedak because of his balls look just as same as the name my cousin called it.. haha..
I laugh a while for my bro's joke... I laugh non-stop because of my cousin kept on calling the female dog: Lazy girl here, lazy girl.. lazy girl... Lazy GirL!!! hahahha but the dog didn't even listen.. So it made me laugh till my tears came out...

Really wanted to say thanks to him for making me laugh.. Because long time didn't laugh till so happy already.. It's happy to see him and his sister.. They grown up more and more each time I see them.. They are some how like my buddies.. They always made me happy, but anyway there are also time we quarrel... XD

And lastly, hmm..
I look open already.. Haha.. I was afraid of friends will leave me or what some days later.. Or even my best friend or whoever will betray me or anything sad things will happen to me one day.. I am not going to be influenced.. XDD
I mean what for being sad for others, it's damn useless la.. haha.. XPPP

blahhs.. XD

These 2 weeks I am quite happy with myself until today..

Some of my mum's friend told me that I changed a lot and

I felt great after I change in the inside..

Although many people may feel that I am still me, but I am different.. XDD

Despite sometimes felt boring about life, life's fun most of the times...

Especially times with family, besf and friends..

But there is something that I had been thinking a lot for these few days...

1) 1 or 2 years later, my bro will go study overseas.. what's it like living without bro in the family?haiz..

2) a few months later, my secondary school life will end if I didn't study for form 6..

I might not able to see some of my friends and can't see my brother that often le..

Haha.. Sobz.. Speechless....

Sometimes it's not..

Haha.. One week ago, I was a bit afraid of my teacher..
I asked him some questions.. But then he suddenly teached me how to do in a very loud voice...
I thought he was angry, so I stopped asking..
It's scary.. His face was fierce like a tiger... That day I thought what thing happened to him.. ==


Just now was that tuition again..
Today he was like in a good state.. He taught me a lot in a nice way..
Or maybe because I am very happy nowadays..
So, I am not influenced by him.. XPP
But anyway today only I know that it's just because of myself being perasan at that day.. XDD
Sometimes things are not how they seems like....
haha..

L O L

Do I still look young? haha..

Went to a barber shop today..

The barber kept cut my hair very seriously

and I was thinking that he was not going to talk to me..

But the half way he was cutting, he asked me whether I am form 1 , 2 or 3.. haha lmao..

I was going to laugh but I controlled myself.. If not, later my hair maybe will cut till got hole.. ( in case you know what i mean) XD

I said form 5.. He was like very surprised.. And he said my sister looks older than me..

My heart felt cold for a sudden.. haha...

But I am happy because I am still young.. Loved the days I was young.. XP

Many ppl told me before that my sister looks elder than me.. Haha
I still look young ? lol XDD

Swt..

Sometimes there are dangerous people in this world..
They like to say bad things about people and like to ruin people's relationship or friendship by some ways..
So don't believe those nonsences.. Find out first before making any move.. The best way is to go ask the person involved.. XD

X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)

Suddenly felt very stressful about studies..
I felt that my studies aren't going very well..
I am starting to get migrain... Hate it!! It's painful..
Want to rest, then only continue to read already..

X)X)X)X)X)X)X))X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)

Sometimes recall back the past and think of some memories, it really makes me wanted to cry.. I know those times won't come back because everything needs to move on.. This's life.. X(
But thinking of those memories, I also feel very happy that I had those times before..
Wish could go back to the past.. Perhaps in dream?
And can't time just slow down ? Hmm.. XP

X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)

Felt life's dull for a sudden..
Guess humans have up and down times (happy and sad times or ETC)
Maybe now is my 'down time'..
Haha need some time to cool down..

X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X))X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)X)

Haha..

When you get the choice to choose whether you want sad or happy?
Why not choose happy?
Haha you really can choose either one..

You are sad, because you choose to be sad..
You are happy, because you choose to be happy.. XD

But suppress the pain makes situations worse.. And may suffer more..
So..
Cry when you want..
But don't be sad when you can be happy..
Just be real with ur feelings.. And don't simply imagine things or think too much..
Then life will be amazing.. haha

Nowadays I stop getting to emotional already.. So I decide to share something here.. ^^
Thanks to my family.. XD
Also want to say thanks to myself.. haha

Plus thanks to someone who treats me very good, make me more tough and also make me more happy each and everyday nowadays.. haha
I won't perasan and sad already ! X))
Wohoo ~

1/7 Watch television programmes..

Sister, mum and I was watching a television programme.

Our show was until 10.30pm.

But then 10pm got a match, Brazil VS Holland.

10.12pm that time, our show somehow suddenly reaches its exciting part..

We was nervous about the ending of the episode...

Unfortunately,

my bro and dad realized that the football match has started..

They switch the channel and made my sis, mum and me can't continue watch our show..

Me and my sis got a bit angry because we don't really know what's the point to watch it..

We was wondering why can't watch replay..

PS : Maybe it's fun and important to watch for other ppl because of "blahs".. But not for me and my sis la.. haha

But then 11.40 something, suddenly electric supply stopped..

They can't continue to watch as there was no electric...

My mum, sis and me was... speechless.. XD

We think that it's because they did the same thing to us... haha

28/6 What are friends for?

They ignore you when you are lonely?
They leave you alone when you are sad and need somebody's support?
They find you only when they have problem?
They talk to you just only when they felt like talking to you?
They don't talk to you when you don't talk to them?
They ....

Felt really lost for a sudden... Not saying any one of my friends..

It's just my problem..

And that's it.. Don't get offended or anything..




I really hope there are really truthful friends in this world..

X Or perhaps alone is better?

26/6 True Loneliness

This saturday morning, I woke up and I know there is not going to be anyone in my hse..

Because my mum yesterday already told me

she need to attend a talk, my bro got his activity, my dad went for his work for a few days and my sis also have her own activity...

1st time ever, I felt very lonely.. true loneliness.. haiz..

No one to text to..
No one to talk to..
No one for anything, juz myself..

But luckily I woke up at 12pm..
Just a few hours, then my bro will come back and buy lunch for me already..
Thank God, I normally wake up at between 8am and 10am, but today wake up at 12pm..

Hate to be alone..
But sometimes need to get used to it...

Actually I hope I can wake up at 3pm or so..

Listening to songs, wish that
it can stop the feeling of loneliness..


X Loneliness is torturing..

25/6 有沒有想過..?

有沒有想過 身邊最疼你的親人或朋友

有一天會離你而去 ?

但我們

都會
错误以為那将会是好久以後的事了...


真的
要好好愛

与

珍惜
身邊的人  把握每一次能与他们在一起的时间...

也要记得

要快乐地生活哦.. ^^

Hmmm...

haha.. holiday is going to end already...

2 more days school will reopen le..

This holiday learn a lot.. (Secret) ..XD

But everyday holiday late sleep eventhough didn't watch football... Because not interested haha..

School reopens don't know will how, now feel so relaxed..

Had fun this holiday...

But don't have enough sleep.. haih.. A bit tired.. X(

Haha.. XP happy together wiv 'nobody' these few days..^^

Happy time flies by very quickly... Sobz..

Can I have another 1 week of holiday? haha..

Thanks a lot for those who made me happy and made me learn something this holiday..
Appreciate it lots..

(^=^)

Haha..

Sometimes I feel those who I talked to, they seems to be "proud" and ignore me..

I was angry but then I am not already for now.. Because why must other people respond to what I say? XDD

No offence... But I really hate those who are ls la.. XP Just dun hate some people who is ls in a way that I don't think it is ls..

Say what you feel is right then is already ok and what for being sad if other people didn't respond ?

Nowadays I felt happy about life.. XP

And plus I don't know why , I hate people say they are boring with their life.. ^^

Life's fun eventhough there is nothing to do.. hehe..

This holiday was ok.. Didn't do anything special or what, but overall I enjoyed the holiday till today..

( ^ - ^ )

4

Wohooo... I am happy today for some reasons..
I am able to control myself from being down by the 'devil'//
haha hapi.. XD

When i am on the way to "emo", I change my thoughts...
It's that easy...
And I am happy once again..
Didn't think before I can control my emotions...

Today, I did it.. ^^
Congratz!!!

Although some sad things happen this morning and afternoon, which is caused by my sensitiveness..
By evening, it's already ok..
Just need some time sometimes to calm down.... XDD

Today I am very happy.. X)))
Today was going to have a tuition, but then there is not...
haha and something happen..
I felt like I am going back to the past..
The past which is happy and time full with friend's laughter.. I miss a lot of that..
Because I am already not same class with those close friends to me...
Enjoy talking with u today.. x)

Haha life continues to go on..

=== > I am going to sleep d..XPP
zzzZZzzzz

3

Haha.. miss my old blog a lot.. but then because I think it somehow get corrupted or some stupid people go leave some "dirty" comments.. X((
So I decided to open this new blog.. XD

Today bought a book related to how to be happy..
By reading a few pages, I am already starting to feel happy..
The true hapiness.. XDD
The book's cover is a bit plain but then inside, it's full with "treasure"...
So ya.. Don't judge a book by its cover.. haha..

Hmm.. Guess after I read that book, I won't be so easily get sad already..
Share something here.. haha
When you are happy, the people around you is happy together with you..
But when you are sad, you are only crying alone and no one gonna bother you or help you..
Because it's really our own business... X)) So we need to "recover" back by ourselves...

But haiz, I still have a big problem.. I don't really know how to socialise..
I don't know when to talk and when not to...
I don't know what to talk and some friends said my talking topics are real damn bored..
I don't know when to talk more and when not to talk at all..
I don't know when I talk something wrong...
I don't know how to accept and like everyone...
I don't know how to make friends...
I don't know whether I am honest to friends, is it wrong sometimes?
I don't know a lot of stuffs.. X((

Nowadays I felt like everyone is like doing what they want and what they like without thinking of how other people will look at them.. But I just can't be like "them".. ==
I have friends whom I really admire their personalities.....
They have something in common.. They are always happy and they know to be themselves..

Hopefully I can be like them someday...

2

对不起, 当你们向我莞尔的时候,
我却毅然转身,不领情的不给你们回应.

对不起, 当你们的问候像风呼啸过我的身旁,
我却不小心带上耳塞,闭上了耳朵.

对不起,你们一直找我聊天,
我却不曾找过你们.

对不起,你们需要我帮忙时,
我却像是突然消失了.

对不起, 从来都只有你们为我撑着伞,
我却一直在我们之间建起了一道墙.

对不起,你们还记得我,
我却忘了你们.

对不起,你们把我当成朋友,
我却把你们当隐形.

对不起,伤害到了你们.

对不起,对不起,对不起.

讨厌我,你们可以离开我,
让我孤独地生活.

我不会伤心,难过.

毕竟,
伤心,寂寞,沉默
我已经习惯了.

1

我
不再去想过去,
也不再去想未来,
我
只想如何活在现在…
珍惜现在…

我
学会忘记一切悲伤事物,
没有任何烦恼,
没有任何悲伤,
没有任何忧虑地
生活……

我
也学会了如何面对人生
种种的考验…

我曾经哭过
曾三百六十五天地哭过…
我却发现哭并没给我带来任何利益…

所以
我
不再流泪…
我
选择与快乐交友…
渐渐地
我与它做了朋友
我
发现我真真实实地开心了…
开心了…